The lovely Mrs. Gayle Marie Benson
by Raoul Blanco
It’s always healthy to recognize and embrace our beginnings… I strongly
believe is something that makes us sprout stronger and give us an aura of
respect.
Today, the First Lady of Sports, Queen of the New Orleans
Saints’ team and one of our Five Best Dressed Ladies of Louisiana, the lovely
Mrs. Gayle Marie Benson and best known as just Mrs. Gayle Benson delivered a
talk for an organization. Mrs. Benson approached
the audience with a theme that she knows absolutely well, “Dress for Success”… The extensive attendees loved Mrs. Benson’s
talk… This is what this lady said:
Thank you Phyllis for your kind introduction and Good
Morning Everyone, I am truly humbled to be here with you today.
Today I am going to speak not only on Dressing for
Success but what you need to do before you get there. Dressing for success is
more than acquiring a special dress or a suit, or the right shoes and bag to
with it. That is only a small part of it. Dressing for success is more about
self-esteem, goal setting, volunteering, and community involvement.
There are many aspects of life that contribute to having
a strong self-esteem, some of them are:
Bounce back from your mistakes, everyone makes them, no
one is perfect, even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in our lives, we may feel we
lack something; this is just part of reality and life. Learn that life is full
of bumps along the road; often these insecure feelings come and go, depending
on where we are, who we are with; the mood we are in, and how we are feeling
physically, and emotionally. You must
remember: and this is a quote from my husband, “Some days are better than
others, but we must dress up and be ready for them all.”
Identify your past and current successes. Everyone is good at something. Discover the things at which you excel, and
then focus on your talents. Give
yourself permission to take pride in them, give yourself credit for your
successes. Inferiority is only a state
of mind in which you have declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. Express yourself, whether it’s through art,
music, writing, sports or any other leisure activity you are interested in
while enjoying your free time. Find
something you enjoy doing. Also as a
side note do not make the mistake of choosing a
job or career because it pays well, choose something you love and you
will never feel like you are really working.
When I had my business I never thought I worked, because I loved what I
was doing and part of it was helping others.
Everyone is born with talents and strengths; and you can
develop your talents and skills and excel in your particular area. If it is difficult to name some things you
have ability in, or just plain love to do, think about things others do that
you may also be interested in trying.
Take lessons or join an enthusiasts club of your interests. When you are following your passion, not only
will it have a therapeutic effect, but you will feel unique and accomplished,
all of which can help build your self-confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your
life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances
of meeting compatible friends!
Be thankful for what you have. Many times, at the root of insecurity and
lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it
is emotional validation, good luck, money, or other material things, like
clothes, cars, and just plain stuff.
In other words, all the extra stuff in our lives that we
believe will make us happy.
You will never be truly happy, fulfilled or satisfied
until you reach down and help someone in need.
By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you
can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied, and in addition
finding that inner peace will do wonders for your self-confidence.
Be positive, even if you do not feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of
others.
Never allow others to make you feel inferior--- they can
only do this if you allow them.
Accept compliments gracefully; do not roll your eyes and
brush them off by saying this old thing, or gee, I have had this for a very
long time. A simple thank you and a
smile does work wonders and no one knows or cares how long you have had the
outfit or where you got it, and it makes you and the other person feel
good. Stick to your principals, never
compromise it may be tough but if you don’t have something you can believe in,
you do not have anything. And if you do
not stand for something, you will fall for anything.
No matter what has happened in your life, you can always
lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you have followed your
principals to the best of your ability.
Help others… when you know you are kind to the people
around you, and are making a positive difference in other people’s lives even
if it’s just being kinder to the person who serves you at a restaurant, or a
smile at someone you pass in the hallway, grocery store or at a mall. You’ll know that you are a positive force in
the world which will boost your self-confidence. Sometimes just a small compliment to someone
or a smile will make their day. We never
know what is going on in other people’s lives, so if we can lift someone up
with a smile, we should give it to them, and it costs us nothing.
Goal setting is used by top-level athletes, teachers,
successful business people and achievers in all fields. Setting goals gives you long term vision and
short-term motivation. It focuses your
acquisition of knowledge, and helps you to organize your time, and your
resources so that you can make the very most of your life.
By setting sharp, clearly defined goals, you can measure
and take pride in the achievements of those goals, and you’ll see forward
progress, in what might previously have seemed a long pointless grind. You will also raise your self-confidence as
you recognize your own ability and competence in achieving the goals that
you've set.
First, to set personal goals you must create the big
picture of what you want to do with your life, and identify the large scale
goals that you want to achieve.
Then you break these down into smaller and smaller
targets that you must hit to reach your lifetime goals, finally once you have
your plan, you start working on it to achieve these goals.
This is when we start the process of goal setting by
looking at your lifetime goals. Then we
write down the things that you can do, for example; the next five years, next
month, next week, and today to start moving towards them.
You may need to think about what level you want to reach
in your career, or what you need to do to accomplish these goals?
For example:
How much education will I need?
How much do you want to earn at what stage in your life?
Decide what you want to achieve in life, separate what is
important from what is irrelevant or, define what would be a distraction from
reaching your goals.
Motivate yourself by building your self-confidence, based
on successful achievement of goals.
Attitude: is there any part of your mindset holding you
back? Is there any part of the way that you behave that upsets you? If so, set
a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem. Our deepest desired are usually given to us
over time and with lots of hard work.
Pleasure: How do
you want to enjoy yourself? You should
make sure that some of your life is for leisure entertainment, volunteer and
community involvement.
Ten years ago, before I married Tom Benson I was in the
design business for 30 years. But before
I began that business it was a very humble beginning, I started in my parent’s
home from a card table, and telephone, but I knew what I could do and set my
goals to do it. Over the years I grew
that business from designing homes to hotels, and then began purchasing real
estate and so the story began of my successful design business. But it was not always a bed of roses.
Everything in life has its up and downs, and no one’s life is perfect no matter
how good it seems from the outside, there are disappointments in every phase of
our lives. But you must continue to move
forward and not become discouraged.
Set Priorities: When you have several goals, give each a
priority. This helps you to avoid
feeling overwhelmed by having too many goals and helps you to direct your
attention to the most important ones.
Write down goals on paper: This crystallizes them and
gives the goals more force. At one point
in my career I would write goals on sticky notes and place them on mirrors, in
books, in my car, and read them every day.
Keep Operational goals small: Keep the low level goals that you’re
working on small and achievable. If a
goal is too large, it will be difficult to attain. Try breaking them down small so that you can
begin to see progress towards it.
Keeping goals small and incremental gives more opportunities for
rewards.
Set realistic goals, it is important to set goals that
you can achieve. All sorts of people
(for example, media, society, friends, and family) set unrealistic goals for
us. Often they will do this wanting to
help you, but they will lack the knowledge of your own deepest desires and
ambitions. I remember my parents
advising me when I first began my business, that it was not a real profession
and I would never make it. And they were just looking out for me, but sometimes
you need to follow your heart and inner desires in succeeding. Before they went to heaven they became very
proud of what I had accomplished with my business and how I had succeeded on my
own.
You must set your own goals that are not too difficult
because you might not appreciate either the obstacles in the way, or understand
quite how much skill you will need to develop and achieve a particular level of
performance. Be realistic in your goal
setting, start small and work your way up to your goal.
By taking an active role in your community you are making
it a better place for you, your friends and families.
Always remember: No one knows what our destiny will be in
life, but one thing which is certain, the only ones among us in this world who
will really be happy in life, are those who have sought and found a way to
serve others in volunteering and helping others in need. Remember we make a living at what we do, but
make a life at what we give.
And the final thought I would like to share with you is
this… People will not remember what you
said, or what wore, but how you made them feel.
Be kind to everyone.
Thank you for your attention, my best of wishes and
continued blessings to you all.
Gayle Marie Benson
