The Lovely Mrs. Gayle Marie Benson...

The lovely Mrs. Gayle Marie Benson
by Raoul Blanco

It’s always healthy to recognize and embrace our beginnings…   I strongly believe is something that makes us sprout stronger and give us an aura of respect. 

Today, the First Lady of Sports, Queen of the New Orleans Saints’ team and one of our Five Best Dressed Ladies of Louisiana, the lovely Mrs. Gayle Marie Benson and best known as just Mrs. Gayle Benson delivered a talk for an organization.  Mrs. Benson approached the audience with a theme that she knows absolutely well, “Dress for Success”…  The extensive attendees loved Mrs. Benson’s talk…  This is what this lady said:

  

Thank you Phyllis for your kind introduction and Good Morning Everyone, I am truly humbled to be here with you today.

Today I am going to speak not only on Dressing for Success but what you need to do before you get there. Dressing for success is more than acquiring a special dress or a suit, or the right shoes and bag to with it. That is only a small part of it. Dressing for success is more about self-esteem, goal setting, volunteering, and community involvement.

There are many aspects of life that contribute to having a strong self-esteem, some of them are:

Bounce back from your mistakes, everyone makes them, no one is perfect, even the most confident people have insecurities.  At some point in our lives, we may feel we lack something; this is just part of reality and life. Learn that life is full of bumps along the road; often these insecure feelings come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with; the mood we are in, and how we are feeling physically, and emotionally.  You must remember: and this is a quote from my husband, “Some days are better than others, but we must dress up and be ready for them all.”

Identify your past and current successes.  Everyone is good at something.  Discover the things at which you excel, and then focus on your talents.  Give yourself permission to take pride in them, give yourself credit for your successes.  Inferiority is only a state of mind in which you have declared yourself a victim.  Do not allow yourself to be victimized.  Express yourself, whether it’s through art, music, writing, sports or any other leisure activity you are interested in while enjoying your free time.  Find something you enjoy doing.  Also as a side note do not make the mistake of choosing a  job or career because it pays well, choose something you love and you will never feel like you are really working.  When I had my business I never thought I worked, because I loved what I was doing and part of it was helping others. 

Everyone is born with talents and strengths; and you can develop your talents and skills and excel in your particular area.  If it is difficult to name some things you have ability in, or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you may also be interested in trying.  Take lessons or join an enthusiasts club of your interests.  When you are following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you will feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self-confidence.  Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!

Be thankful for what you have.  Many times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it is emotional validation, good luck, money, or other material things, like clothes, cars, and just plain stuff.

In other words, all the extra stuff in our lives that we believe will make us happy. 

You will never be truly happy, fulfilled or satisfied until you reach down and help someone in need.

By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied, and in addition finding that inner peace will do wonders for your self-confidence.

Be positive, even if you do not feel positive.  Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others.

Never allow others to make you feel inferior--- they can only do this if you allow them.

Accept compliments gracefully; do not roll your eyes and brush them off by saying this old thing, or gee, I have had this for a very long time.  A simple thank you and a smile does work wonders and no one knows or cares how long you have had the outfit or where you got it, and it makes you and the other person feel good.  Stick to your principals, never compromise it may be tough but if you don’t have something you can believe in, you do not have anything.  And if you do not stand for something, you will fall for anything.

  

No matter what has happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you have followed your principals to the best of your ability.

Help others… when you know you are kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people’s lives even if it’s just being kinder to the person who serves you at a restaurant, or a smile at someone you pass in the hallway, grocery store or at a mall.  You’ll know that you are a positive force in the world which will boost your self-confidence.  Sometimes just a small compliment to someone or a smile will make their day.  We never know what is going on in other people’s lives, so if we can lift someone up with a smile, we should give it to them, and it costs us nothing.

Goal setting is used by top-level athletes, teachers, successful business people and achievers in all fields.  Setting goals gives you long term vision and short-term motivation.  It focuses your acquisition of knowledge, and helps you to organize your time, and your resources so that you can make the very most of your life.

By setting sharp, clearly defined goals, you can measure and take pride in the achievements of those goals, and you’ll see forward progress, in what might previously have seemed a long pointless grind.  You will also raise your self-confidence as you recognize your own ability and competence in achieving the goals that you've set.

First, to set personal goals you must create the big picture of what you want to do with your life, and identify the large scale goals that you want to achieve.

Then you break these down into smaller and smaller targets that you must hit to reach your lifetime goals, finally once you have your plan, you start working on it to achieve these goals.

This is when we start the process of goal setting by looking at your lifetime goals.  Then we write down the things that you can do, for example; the next five years, next month, next week, and today to start moving towards them. 

You may need to think about what level you want to reach in your career, or what you need to do to accomplish these goals?

For example:

How much education will I need?

How much do you want to earn at what stage in your life?

Decide what you want to achieve in life, separate what is important from what is irrelevant or, define what would be a distraction from reaching your goals.

Motivate yourself by building your self-confidence, based on successful achievement of goals.

Attitude: is there any part of your mindset holding you back? Is there any part of the way that you behave that upsets you? If so, set a goal to improve your behavior or find a solution to the problem.  Our deepest desired are usually given to us over time and with lots of hard work.

Pleasure:  How do you want to enjoy yourself?  You should make sure that some of your life is for leisure entertainment, volunteer and community involvement.

Ten years ago, before I married Tom Benson I was in the design business for 30 years.  But before I began that business it was a very humble beginning, I started in my parent’s home from a card table, and telephone, but I knew what I could do and set my goals to do it.  Over the years I grew that business from designing homes to hotels, and then began purchasing real estate and so the story began of my successful design business.  But it was not always a bed of roses. Everything in life has its up and downs, and no one’s life is perfect no matter how good it seems from the outside, there are disappointments in every phase of our lives.  But you must continue to move forward and not become discouraged.  

Set Priorities: When you have several goals, give each a priority.  This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by having too many goals and helps you to direct your attention to the most important ones.

Write down goals on paper: This crystallizes them and gives the goals more force.  At one point in my career I would write goals on sticky notes and place them on mirrors, in books, in my car, and read them every day.  Keep Operational goals small: Keep the low level goals that you’re working on small and achievable.  If a goal is too large, it will be difficult to attain.  Try breaking them down small so that you can begin to see progress towards it.  Keeping goals small and incremental gives more opportunities for rewards.

Set realistic goals, it is important to set goals that you can achieve.  All sorts of people (for example, media, society, friends, and family) set unrealistic goals for us.  Often they will do this wanting to help you, but they will lack the knowledge of your own deepest desires and ambitions.  I remember my parents advising me when I first began my business, that it was not a real profession and I would never make it. And they were just looking out for me, but sometimes you need to follow your heart and inner desires in succeeding.  Before they went to heaven they became very proud of what I had accomplished with my business and how I had succeeded on my own. 

 

You must set your own goals that are not too difficult because you might not appreciate either the obstacles in the way, or understand quite how much skill you will need to develop and achieve a particular level of performance.  Be realistic in your goal setting, start small and work your way up to your goal.

By taking an active role in your community you are making it a better place for you, your friends and families.

Always remember: No one knows what our destiny will be in life, but one thing which is certain, the only ones among us in this world who will really be happy in life, are those who have sought and found a way to serve others in volunteering and helping others in need.  Remember we make a living at what we do, but make a life at what we give.

And the final thought I would like to share with you is this…  People will not remember what you said, or what wore, but how you made them feel.  Be kind to everyone.

Thank you for your attention, my best of wishes and continued blessings to you all.

Gayle Marie Benson